Wonderful. Another date that leads to nothing but friendship. Time for reviewing my tactics or perhaps even my way of judging my date(s)?! Thinking of it, do I look for something else than friendship? Having a look around learns me that breaking up or having this boring daily routine (that nobody probably can escape from) will not make me happy either.
I think I am one of the few guys out there that does not think about sex for every 3 seconds(or at least that is what the statistics say about men) or so. Not needing sexual attention that much, leaves me with a lot of time to do other things… for example… dating women;)
The selection procedure
As selecting my dates very carefully, I always start from the obvious “the outside” – cutting that crap about how NOT important the shell is, but that only the inside counts. When finally at this very date, we talk about the sheep and the cows and how great the weather is today and how it totally sucked yesterday. Then after a few hours the moment of truth comes… Will there be a second date or will there be “eternal friendship” instead!?
But a woman would not be a woman to be NOT clear about such things. “Hell, no!” Why would she? She LOVES the attention! And of course, I am one of those Mr. good guys, that doesn’t mind giving that kind of attention. “She is fun, she is nice.” And honestly, it is not bad at all if you indeed don’t want the relation stuff. You can go do all the fun stuff with her and in the end you just say goodbye again. No fights, never have to give dishonest opinions (“Sure darling, your dress looks tremendously beautiful on you!”), etcetera. But what if you DO think you like this specific woman?! Or even worse, you think that she does not deserve her current boyfriend (my favorite situation;). Will you keep trying and hoping? No way!
The checklist system
On my last ‘sort of’ date, we actually had a quite interesting conversation on judging dates with help of a checklist system.
If your date is not ranking itself high enough – then it is EXIT for him or her.
Even though she was looking for a serious partner (perhaps a life partner, I am not sure), the checklist system seems to be interesting for all purposes. Maintaining this list from the start eliminates all kind of unwanted external influence, such as feelings and affection. Basically it is something we all do in our mind, but we just do not attach too much value to it. Writing it down and evaluating your date or perhaps relationship, can take a way a lot of insecurities.
It was an interesting date. So right after I came back home, I started evaluating with help of the list in my head, and not the one on paper. (As I did not have one… yet!) And… the outcome was that during this evaluation process I fell asleep. *Hey, talking to ladies can make men VERY tired sometimes* The next day I remembered the date again and decided I am not going for the list. I will just continue trusting my instincts, no matter how bad they seem to be sometime ;)